He stood there, looking down the abyss, into the deep, solitary darkness, waiting for it to engulf him in its arms, making him a part of it. Isolation came to him naturally; he was raised that way. To him, it was a part of life, and a part he was always on terms with.
He’d only read about it in the hundreds of books that he’d read and seen it in the countless movies that he’d watched but had never thought would happen to him. He took a step further, took a deep breath and thought about all the nice things that had happened to him.
He thought about his mother who would shower him with all the happiness and joy there is in the world, a love so inexplicable and selfless that it was almost impossible to believe that it existed in a world so cold and cruel.
He thought about his father who would never hug him or tell him how much he loved him, and yet, in a weird way showed how much he cared by being there for him, whenever he was asked to. And more often than not, even when he wasn’t.
He thought about his friends- each one of them. Right from the girl who offered to share her lunch with him in school, to the guy who stayed up all night teaching him before the exams, to ensure that he would pass. He thought about all the times he had been in trouble and at least one of his friends had materialized from nowhere every time and made it ‘their’ problem from ‘his’ problem. Friendship - what a ridiculous concept, he thought, and yet what a wonderful one at that.
As much as he tried not to, his thoughts wandered to her. That girl. If only he’d never set his eyes on her, never been mesmerized by those eyes and that enchanting smile, never fell for that gorgeous face and all the beautiful words spoken by her, things would have been different today. Now he was looking death in the eye and thinking about life. It was tragic, ironic and yet strangely fitting. He held her responsible for what he had gone through, blamed her for the end that was awaiting him with its arms wide open and yet realized that if he’d never known her, he’d never have appreciated life the way he did today. She’d driven him to death while showing him how amazing life was. Women, he sighed.
He took one last look around and took the leap. As a child, he’d always wondered how the feeling would be- to be able to drop down great heights, in one smooth motion. It seemed so graceful and poetic, like a wonderful painting on a canvas. The fear of not knowing what was ahead was gone; the anticipation of a tomorrow was missing. He opened his arms and for the first time, embraced life in the final leap of death. For once in his life, he felt free. And yet captured, in love.